Hellsing At Central High School
by WillNeverBeTamed
Summary: Not Going To Finish    What happens when Walter, Seras, and Alucard is forced to go to America? Comedy! Rated M for pervy humor, story is mostly about Walter but Alucard, Seras, and maybe even Anderson find their way in. My first story, please don't be too harsh!
1. Chapter 1

It's a late afternoon at the Hellsing Manor; Integra leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs and bite down on her cigar. A knock at the door made her sit up slightly and remove her cigar as she said "Come in". The door slowly opened revealing Walter tall, thin figure, "I brought Alucard and Miss Victoria as you asked" he said walking. "Thank you Walter, stay won't you?" she said smiling. "What's with the sudden meeting Sir Integra" Alucard grinned widely, "Perhaps another mission?" "Actually, your right Alucard" she took another puff of her cigar, "A mission in Evansville, Indiana". Seras tilted her head slightly, "Isn't that in America?" "Correct Police Girl" Integra said smiling. Alucard crossed his arms over his chest, "So tell master…why are we going to America?" Integra stood up and walked around her desk to them, "There have been rogue vampire attacks in the small town…the local police aren't able to handle these type of crimes…the only problem is" she took another puff of her cigar. "Is?" Alucard said with excited.

"You're kidding me right?" Seras said with an angry look, "I hated High school!" "Well I'm sorry Seras…" Integra folded her arms across her chest~ "That's just how it's going to be…". "Oh I'm going to enjoy going to America…" Alucard said menacingly. "Alucard, Stephenie Meyer doesn't live in Indiana…." Integra shook her head. "Damn" he mumbled, "So what's in this 'Evansville?' and why again is Walter going and as a teacher?" Integra sighed, "I explained this before…". "I know, I was fantasizing about different way to kill that woman" Alucard said with his Cheshire grin. "Well the reason Walter is going as a teacher is because he's more responsible and won't kill the kids the minute he walked in the door…contrary to your beliefs, most counties don't enjoy mass murdering…" she said adjust her glasses. "Ahh…and what am I to do Master?" Integra took the cigar from her mouth and emptied into the ashtray on her desk, "Well I'm not quite sure yet…mostly likely you'll be Seras's father in this mission…" Alucard frowned "That's all…"; "You'll also be gathering information on the attacks…while Walter and Seras try to find the said vampire…" she smiled. "Now I'm done discussing this…you all will be leaving tonight, I have apartments already for you" she walked to her desk and grabbed two folders, handing one to Alucard and the other to Walter.

"Ugh master these apartments are disgusting, the police girl and I are going to be sharing one?" Alucard's mood changed from anger to curiosity, "I just might enjoy this after all". "Remember Alucard you're her father" Integra sighed, "Walter you haven't said a word…everything alright?" Walter looked up from the folder, "My only concern is who will be taking care of things around here?" She smiled, "Don't worry Walter I've already hired someone". He nodded and smiled, "Alright then". Integra nods and crushes her cigar in the ashtray, "So you all shall be ready tonight correct?" All three nodded, "Then you may leave" she said leaning back in her chair.

"Master! I don't want to go back to high school! I hated it!" Seras grunted more walking down the hall to her room. 'I still don't understand what was so bad about it police girl?' Alucard said telepathically from his 'lair' as he called it. "Because I always got made fun of cause of my…" her voice trailed off, "breast" she whispered. 'What Police Girl? I couldn't hear you speak louder!' "I said because of my….b-breast…" she looked down blushing. 'What!' he called out louder. "Breast, breast! Can you hear me? BREAST!" Seras yelled as loud as possible. "Miss Victoria is there something wrong?" Walter asked with a confused yet amused look on his face. "N-No Walter…everything is fine" she mumbles blushing bright red and continued to walk, 'I hate you master…' 'Hehe I thought for sure you would be smarter then that Police Girl' Alucard chuckled which slowly became louder to a full belly laughter. 'It's Seras' she groaned as she walked into her room.

A couple of hours later close to sunset, Walter, Seras, and Alucard sat in the Hellsing Organizations jet. "How long should it take? Do you know Walter?" Seras asked looking at Walter. "I'm not quite sure Miss Victoria", he said leaning back slightly reading the newspaper. "Oh…" she mumbled quietly. "Don't worry about it Police Girl," Alucard said as he slowly swirled his wine, dressed in his favorite black suit, with his hair long and flowing to past his shoulders. "I thought you didn't want to go? What's with the sudden change?". "I still don't want to go but I don't want to set her for hours on end" she said folding her arms over her chest and sliding down in the chair more. "Just sit back and relax Miss Victoria, I doubt you'll have a chance soon in the next couple of days" Walter said not looking from his paper. "True" she sighed and looked out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally after what seemed like forever, they finally landed in the Evansville Airport. "Well…I already want to go back", Alucard grumbled and followed Walter to the car waiting outside. 'Master, do you see someone of these people? T-They're huge!' Seras thought to her grinning master. 'Indeed they are…aren't you glad you're a vampire now, Police Girl?' He grinned widely getting into the cab with Seras following. As Walter gave the immigrant cab driver directions to their home for now, Alucard relaxed in the seat "Look out the window Police Girl, look at all the people and how different they are." Seras turned and looked out her window just catching a rather large man bending over revealing more then Seras needed to see. "UGH!" Was her only replied as Alucard laughed.

After more disgusting views of the American world, they arrived at their destination. "Hmm our apartments are right next to each other…good thing too" Walter said walking to his door, grabbing the keys. "Miss Victoria would you like help?" He asked turning to her. "Nope!" Seras smiled carrying her and Alucard's coffin inside "Thanks anyway!" She said happily. Walter nodded and walked inside, "Fully furnished too." He shut the door silently behind him then grabbed his bags and carried them to his room and started unpacking. "I wonder…maybe Alucard and Miss Victoria would like to go take a look around this city…" After Walter finished unpacking he looked around, "Maybe I'll make some tea." He smiled walking towards the kitchen, grabbing the tea pot and starts looking through the cabinet. "Damn…." He sighed adjusting his tie, "I guess this means I have to go shopping." He grabbed his keys then walked outside, shutting and locking the door then walks to Alucard and Seras's. "No master stop!" Seras squealed. Walter drew back slightly, afraid of what could be going on in there. "Maybe I'm better off alone", "Walter?" grunts Alucard as he phases through the door. "What do you want?" Walter stood straight again, "Alucard you can't do that in America, you supposed to be human act as such" said Walter. "Yes mom." Alucard said sarcastically as he removed himself from the door then opened it, "So why are you here?"

"Why are you making us go too Walter?" Alucard grunted as he leaned back in the seat with his legs crossed. "Because you two alone could cause more trouble then Hellsing needs, now be quite back there children!" Walter chuckled lightly while driving the car provided by Hellsing. "These people are weird…" Seras said looking out the window, "It takes all kind of people to make the worl go round Miss Victoria" Walter said looking at her from the rear view mirror. "Where are we going anyway Walter?" Alucard said folding his hands in his lap. "Wal-Mart on the east side, it seems to be the best option at the moment" He said keeping his eyes on the road. "Oh boy." Was the only thing Seras could say.

As they walked into the front doors of Wal-Mart, they were quickly spotted and stared at. "Walterrrr!" Seras whispered in a whinny tone. "Just ignore them Miss Victoria." He said making his way to the food section. "Come Police Girl, let's go get you some different clothes!" Alucard said happily with his Cheshire grin that made chills run down Seras's spine. "Y-yes Master." She followed him to the woman's department. As they walked up and down the aisles, "Ohhh look at this Police Girl!" He turned around holding a small blue bikini, grinning widely. "MASTER! It's March it's too cold for swimsuits!" She grunted blushing like crazy. "In my bed it's not!" It turned to a full toothy grin. "MASTER! Put it back! I just want normal clothes!" She smacked the bikini out of his hands and walked off.

Walter signed hearing them argue from across the store, "They'll never change." He looked all around this aisle at least three times, and still no sign of his favorite tea. "Well" He scoffed, "I'm guess I'm stuck with what they have." "DID YOU SEE THAT GUY WITH THE LONG HAIR!" A female explained from down the aisle. "Holding that blue bikini! Looking all pedo?" She laughed holding her stomach as her friend did the same. "That was the best!" The other said adjusting her glasses. 'Hm?' Walter thought looking at the two teenage girls. "What was he doing? Cosplaying? What was he from then?" Said the first and loudest girl; her hair was boyish short and reddish. She was wearing dark tone skinny jeans with blue and green plaid high tops, tied tightly. As they laughed more, she flailed her arms causing the sleeves of her Harley Davidson jacket flap, as if she was trying to take off. "I don't know! But it was great! I wish I had my camera!" Said the second girl, she was a bit larger then the redhead. Her very curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail or a bun, he couldn't tell. She wore what seemed to be a thick, red plaid jacket and lighter shade jeans with black and pink tennis shoes. 'Well if these girls are like the rest in that school...' Walter sighed, thinking to himself 'I'm not going to survive.'


	3. Chapter 3

"Walter are you done staring at the…" Alucard's voice trailed off as he looked at the girls, "American lesbians'?" Walter sighed, shaking his head. "Did they have the tea you wanted Walter?" Seras asked quietly. "Sadly no…" He said holding up a small box of green tea, "I guess I'm stuck with this." "Good, I'm ready to get out of here…now" Alucard grumbled walking past Walter. The larger girl grabbed the red head by the arm tightly and pulled, "Tori! Look!" she said pointing. "God Rachel, what? I'm...try...ing…" Tori's eyes got huge seeing Alucard standing not to far from her. "What?" He stared at her over his sunglasses. "U-uh…." Was all she could say. "Guys! Guys! Come look at this!" A boy yelled as he walked up to the girls, "I found a deck of cards, tim-…." He looked up at Alucard. Alucard's eyes widen a bit, "So….how did you escape Dandy Man?" "EH?" Was the boy's reply as he looked Alucard over. "J-Justin….JUSTIN! GET AN ADULT!" Tori yelled loudly trying to run away. "Get back here birdie!" Alucard grunted as he grabbed her by the back of the jacket. "NUUU!" As he pulled her off the ground, she wiggled out of her jacket and fell on the floor. Alucard felt a slight thud against his chest and looked down to see the deck of cards hitting the ground between his feet. "Now what good would that have done!" He said smirking widely. "Alucard!" Walter walked around him and grabbed the jacket from his hands. "My apologies Miss, he's a bit different" He said smiling as he handed Tori her jacket. She blushed slightly and took it, putting it back on. "D-Don't worry about it!" She waved her hands in defense slightly. Justin slowly reached out grabbing the deck of cards and ran. Rachel grabbed Tori's arm and dragged her away.

"Walterrrr can we leave now?" Seras whined as she held a few pieces of clothing. "Yes lets." Walter said walking toward then front of the store. Alucard followed behind with his hands in his pockets and his jacket over his shoulders. He sighed as they walked through a crowd getting bumped and shoved. 'This is driving me nuts!' He thought as a woman with three kids cut him off and stopped right in front of him. He grunted trying to get around her as she looked at tops that were too small for even her children. "Excuse me." The woman looked up at him, "What you got a problem?" "You're in my way…." He snorted slightly, as she placed a hand on her hip "Excuse _ME_?" "You are in my way, stupid woman" Alucard growled giving up, he shoved the cart out of the way and continued to walk. He smirked watching her trying to stop the cart with her children inside. "Master, was that necessary? What if that crashes and hurts the children!" Seras stared up at him, "Good that will keep them from reproducing her stupid gene!" He said walking up behind Walter in the check out line. Seras shook her head in shame knowing the check out woman heard them. "Hello how are you today?" Said the older woman as she started to ring up their items. "We're great and what about you?" Walter said smiling, with his hands as his side. "Eh…I'm ready to go home, I've been working all day." Walter chuckled lightly, "My apologies." The woman blushed slightly and laughed, "Aww Hun you don't have to be sorry!" "I'm sorry that we're waiting here for you to rings up just four damn items…." Walter turned to Alucard who had an emotionless look on his face as he stared at the woman. "Master!" Seras whispered, "That was rude!" "No no it's alright sweetie! That'll be $12.50!" The woman smiled at Walter has he handed her the exact amount, grabbed their bags, and walked out the front door.

Finally after what seemed like days and many of Alucard's rants later; they arrived back home. "Here's your clothes Miss Victoria" Walter smiled as he handed the bag to her. "Thank you Walter!" She chirped as she walked to the door, unlocking it and going inside. "Good luck tomorrow Walter" Alucard smirked, as Walter just looked at him. "Please try not to cause too much trouble Alucard." Walter walked inside his apartment and sat the tea out, throwing the plastic bag away. "Hmmm…." He looked around trying to decide what to do next. He walked to the fridge finding it packed with food, 'Oh, I'll just have a quick snack' he thought as he reached in grabbing an apple . 'I wonder if Alucard and Seras knows there's food inside….' Walter sat down on the couch and leaned back a bit. "Oh…I'm going to enjoy this…Sorry Sir Integra it may take longer then thought!" He chuckled, leaning back more and closed his eyes. _**BRINNNG!**_ Walter quickly sat up and grabbed the phone next to him, "Hello." "So how did the first day go in America, Walter?" Integra leaned back in her chair and took a puff from her cigar. "Ah Sir Integra!" His eyes widen a bit and he looked around. 'Did she hear me?' "It went better then first thought, though Alucard still caused problems." "Well I didn't expect any different." She sighed and adjusted her glasses. "But other then that, it went just fine." He crossed his legs and took a bite from the apple. "You start tomorrow don't you Walter?" She asked sounding slightly bored. "Yes and so does Miss Victoria, I have it all taken care of." He smiled hearing her sigh in relief. "Thank you Walter, that will be all" She hung up and leaned back in her seat. "Oh….they'll be fine…." She smirked, turning to the man, who was standing a few feet from her. "Right Alejandro?" The man nodded and stepped forward in only slacks, shirt cuffs, and a black bow tie. His dark hair went pasted his shoulders, curling slightly. 'Oh I already don't want them back!' Integra thought to herself as she eyed the man candy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's ****Note: **Heheh ^^;; sorry for the VERY late update but I've been busy with school and I was being pressured by a certain friend to finish so... anyway... I know it's short... but it's something... and I just had to do part with Integra XD hope you like! Spelling Errors and everything... I'm osrry I've failed English 3 times now so... XD

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Integra groaned as she started to wake from long night of partying and men. In one sudden motion she flung her up and flinched in pain. "Damn it." She thought as she rubbed her temples. Looking around the room she noticed her vision was blurry, she ran her hand across the desk top looking for her glasses but no luck. Integra had no choice but to use her spare pair. Sighing she opened the drawer and grabbed them. Slowly she put the thick pink rimmed glasses with little rhinestones along the side and sighed hard. "Damn Walter for saying I needed to be more feminine!" as she cursed, she looked around for Alejandro and his men as she walked around her desk. Shockingly she found one, hog tied, wearing a unicorn mask and covered sparkles. Integra stared as she wonder what she turned into after a few 'sips' of bourbon and scotch. Blinking hard and wishing the strange creature would leave but sadly no luck…she was stuck with _that_ unicorn.

0o0o0o0o

Walter had just finished his first class in the American high school. The students were all the same, fat, loud, and he was reading to kill them all. Walter questioned why their parents would even allow them to leave the house dressed as such. He's seen more boy's boxers then he cared to and more girl's breast then that cat house Alucard took him for his last birthday. He shivered from the images and sighed. Turning he saw he had a few student already in their seats. Two of them looked familiar. "That's right, they were at Wal-Mart yesterday." He smiled. The girl was still in the same thick red plaid jacket and was reading a book. The next seemed familiar but, she didn't look quiet right. Then he realized it was the same girl who Alucard tried to capture, he could tell because she was wearing nearly the same outfit as yesterday but her hair was black with blonde and purple highlights. This is going to be wonderful he thought.

0o0o0o0o

Integra decided she was gonna untie the poor chap and make sure he was still alive. She took out the double knots and pulled him onto his feet. "You alright sir?" She asked pulling off the mask. "Hah! Yeah best night ever!" Integra was shocked, the voice was rather high for a male and he had an Irish accent. The mask revealed a bright redhead with red eyes smiling back at her. "Hey!" He smirked. "Hello….you um… can leave.. Now… " She walked to her desk and pulled out her cigars. "I'm not leaving till I'm paid…. " He stood with a hand on his hip. Integra huffed and looked at him with a cigar in her mouth. "How much? And what about Alejandro?" He flipped his hair a bit then looked at her. "You already paid him and the other guy…you wanted to keep me for some reason and now you owe me $30,000.…" Integra nearly choked. She took a deep breath and looked at him, "ARE YOU MAD?" "No I'm quiet happy." He smiled. "I don't have that money…. And why is it so much! I only wanted a drinking partner." "Honey if u only wanted a drinking partner, I wouldn't be covered in sparkles wearing a unicorn mask while u rode my yelling 'YEEEEHHAWW' ." Integra's face flustered and she smacked her hands on her desk. "THAT'S A LIE!" "Look babe." "Hell no…" "Honey?" "NO." "Sweetheart?" Integra face palmed, "The queen will not pay for this and even I don't have this money" she thought. "Look can I repay you with something else?" He grinned and she suddenly regretted that. "well…. There is one thing…"

0o0o0o0o0o

After the bell rang Walter turned to his class, introduced himself then smiled. "I'm going to do attendance.." He started reading off names. He glanced around seeing what was it… Tori? And her friend talking. "Is there something you wish to share with the class Miss… Barton?" "…Nope…" She said looking away and blushing. "This is Homeroom isn't it?" "Yes" Said a crimson haired girl with deep green eyes. She smiled sweetly and went back to doodling. "Thank you Miss… Castlemen.." "Alyssa…Call me Alyssa." "Very well." Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. "Oh god I forgot Alucard is teaching GYM…. This is going to be horrible…" He thought as he rubbed his temples.


End file.
